Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Honestly...I forgot my password.

You use the same simplistic usernames and passwords for every thing you do...yet, occasionally you get crossed up...then you wait for them to send you one...you get wait listed...you get distracted...all kinds of crazy excuses are applicable.

So, many months of blogs have come and gone inside my head. And when I said gone, I mean gone. I have never felt more scatterbrained in my entire life. I have all kinds of nerve issues going on that I'm getting worked out, but that doesn't mean that you guys should go without another blog. Its not your fault.

Really, I have been writing a book. The title: "You're from Richmond Indiana, and You've Just Won $314,000,000 Now What? The step by step guide to a happy 300 Million Dollar Lifestyle"

I know I may not be making any best seller list as far as copies sold...but with my hefty (yet extremely reasonable) 10 million dollar price tag on this treasure of a book, I expect to do ok. Its a fairly small demographic, but whatev.

Lets get down to business. I think i should tell people that because she is still a "Teenager", I am going to keep my tongue planted quite firmly inside of my cheek. Without further adieu: Miss South Carolina:



I dont see what the big deal is? What i DO THINK is a big deal is how society thinks this is a stupid answer. I actually think she had a lot of good points.

First of all...she mentioned Osama (Bin Laden presumably). Now I know all the transcripts dont think she mentioned Osama...but thats just because she was throwing out the name to see the crowd reaction...and when the lib elites winced, she decided to change her course. Just listen to the first 10 seconds of her answer (18 seconds into the video).

Ok...why would most Americans, (and THANK GOD she was specific in mentioning U.S. Americans...because GOD KNOWS there are a crapload of Non US Americans that would have no bearing on the question asked...non US Americans know exactly where the United States is on a map...NORTH) not know where the United States was on a map? DUH! Osama! He has freaking spread us out all across the Earth. We have so many freaking embassies that are considered US soil that who among us could actually point out where all of the United States actually is? I mean PLEASE! Technically our soil is in just about every non third-world country on the planet (and the other countries U.S. soil in their pants just thinking we'll visit). NOT TO FREAKING MENTION when this is aired in future reruns (as opposed to past reruns), Osama may, by that time, have blown the United States GOD KNOWS WHERE...and i appreciate her way of looking out for the future of this broadcast in syndication.

BUT GASP! She mentions "Osama" and then the elites scare her into changing her answer faster than it takes Sean Penn into changing a Prius' 12 inch tire with his baby arm. And when elites scare you into saying something...you sure as hell better retreat to South Africa, or even Iraq, where they feel comfortable. Well played South Carolina!

I also like how she repeated the phrase "such as" AFTER she finished her sentence. This sentence inversion is very common amongst the french. "Our education such as South Africa, and uhh, the Iraq, and everywhere like such as..." That is basically like saying "Voulez-Vous" or some stupid lib french crap like that. She's only guilty for playing to the natural homemade deodorant wearing crowd, once again.

At this point, I would like to add that i DO NOT have a map. And her just going out and stating it as the way it is, enlightened me. Why dont I have a map? As she pointed out, some of us dont. I think thats crap. Thanks South Carolina (nobody even knows where the hell South Carolina is anyway. CRAP!), I owe you one.

Then she tries going back to her roots...her natural instinct is isolationistic... "Our education over here, in the U.S., should help the U.S...." A-FREAKIN-MEN! How often have we seen our educated men and women go over to other countries and try to teach them a thing or two? TEACH US! They are ungrateful of our teaching anyway. Unlike our educational efforts being wasted on the rest of the World, Miss South Carolina's efforts were not wasted on me.

But the self-fart sniffing crowd would have none of it. And for a girl that has been trying her whole life to climb this impossible mountain of achievement (such as Everest, such as) I dont blame her for going back to her libfest pandering. Bring back South Africa...bring back the Iraq. That alone would probably be good enough for 4th place....

BUT NO. She wouldn't be denied. So she picked a fight with the uneducational bully of the world, the absolutely dumbest countries that ever existed: ASIA (Oh yes she did). Like she said, we have a duty to teach those economically struggling countries as well...and I, for one, am thankful she finally said what we all been thinking for quite sometime. After all...if we dont teach countries like China and Japan about our ways, how will they know English when they swallow us into theeir global-economic belly that is the future?

And if it weren't for Mario Lopez (who was by this time already enthralled with her response, look at his face) Miss Teen South Carolina would have been able to tell us exactly for whom we should be building up our future. I like to think she would have finished by saying we are bulding our future for "our children"...with an emphasis on "our"... Message recieved S.C., read you loud and clear.

So as you can see...she is just a bit misunderstood. I have a theory on why...and I planned on writing it in this blog...but you'll just have to wait till tomorrow. For today, lets just blame it on Slater.

Mullally out.